She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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