Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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