chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
