I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
