Pappa wants mamma naked
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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