there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
