and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
