Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize