John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
