I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
