Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
