GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
whose parrot is this?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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