I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
