I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
