There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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