literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
