I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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