Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So many bounce houses so little time
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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