Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
