You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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