do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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