it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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