It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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