Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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