How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
