super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize