How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
