please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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