at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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