this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
