its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
