Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
