Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Terrible idea I love it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
