You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
