Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
