We named our party play list daddy issues
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize