I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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