hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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