Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
