he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
