When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
