We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
