maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
