People in love make me want to vomit
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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