I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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