I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
