Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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