i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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