all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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