you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
