dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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