so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I deserve to be covered in dicks
third nipple confirmed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
