I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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