The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
