Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize