Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
