I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
