just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
