I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
