that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
