check it out our google latitudes are spooning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
