Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
